Relationship with Father/Mother Questionnaire (father’s version) The following sentences describe different aspects of relationship between a father and his adolescent son or daughter. Please indicate on a scale ranging from 1 (not correct at all) to 6 (always correct) the extent to which each of these sentences correctly describes your relationship with your father using the following scale.
1. He can make me feel better when I’m in a bad mood. 2. He insists that I do exactly as he tells me. 3. He doesn’t know what I need or what I want. 4. When I go out he doesn’t tell me when to be back. 5. When I have better ideas than he has I feel comfortable telling him. 6. He nearly always complains about what I do. 7. He lets me go out every night when I want to. 8. He always listens to my ideas and opinions. 9. He is glad to see me when I come home. 10. He insists on a rule instead of allowing exceptions. 11. He doesn’t give me anything until I repeatedly ask him again and again. 12. In his opinion my behavior causes conflicts in the family. 13. Between ourselves we talk openly about things. 14. When I see that something is bothering him, I ask him about it. 15. He allows me as much freedom as I want. 16. He and I have fun together at home. 17. He always wants to know who I spend time with when I go out. 18. He almost always talks to me in a warm and friendly tone. 19. I feel that he doesn’t understand me. 20. He makes mistakes and is willing to listen when I remark about it. 21. He always finds faults with me. 22. I have many chores and duties and I’m not allowed to do anything else until I finish them. 23. He tends to hug me occasionally. 24. He lets me spend my money as I please. 25. We don’t talk with each other much. 26. I feel anger towards him. 27. When we talk he considers my point of view. 28. He understands my troubles and worries. 29. We get along really well between ourselves. 30. He lets me do all the things that others of my age do. 31. He doesn’t often think about me. 32. He punishes me when I don’t do as I’m told. 33. When I’m with him I easily get annoyed and angry. 34. He tries to make me happy when I’m sad. 35. I tend to share things that happen to me with him. 36. He tries to treat me as an equal. 37. He lets me do anything I want. 38. I cannot trust him. 39. He says that I constitute one big problem. 40. He believes that I must be punished in some way for all my misbehavior. 41. He tells me what he really feels, and shares his problems with me. 42. I enjoy talking to him. 43. He tends to show his love for me. 44. He likes it when I decide to do things my way. 45. I have no patience with him. 46. He likes to discuss various issues with me. 47. He is very strict with me. 48. I often criticize him. 49. He likes to spoil me. 50. We appear to disturb each other. 51. I feel better after I have discussed my problems with him. 52. Recently I feel that he’s more a friend than a parent. 53. I’m glad to meet him when I come back home. 54. He becomes angry over little things that I do. 55. It is easy to talk to him. 56. He doesn’t seem like someone who likes to do things with me. 57. He forgives me and doesn’t make a big issue out of every little thing. 58. He complains that I get on his nerves. 59. He has more rules and laws than I can remember, and so he often punishes me. 60. He is often glad to get away from me for a while. 61. He often talks about the good things I do. 62. We fight and argue a lot. 63. I feel close to him.
Relationship with Father/Mother Questionnaire (mother’s version) The following sentences describe different aspects of relationship between a mother and her adolescent son or daughter. Please indicate on a scale ranging from 1 (not correct at all) to 6 (always correct) the extent to which each of these sentences correctly describes your relationship with your father using the following scale.
1. She can make me feel better when I’m in a bad mood. 2. She insists that I do exactly as she tells me. 3. She doesn’t know what I need or what I want. 4. When I go out she doesn’t tell me when to be back. 5. When I have better ideas than she has I feel comfortable telling her. 6. She nearly always complains about what I do. 7. She lets me go out every night when I want to. 8. She always listens to my ideas and opinions. 9. She is glad to see me when I come home. 10. She insists on a rule instead of allowing exceptions. 11. She doesn’t give me anything until I repeatedly ask her again and again. 12. In hers opinion, my behavior causes conflicts in the family. 13. Between ourselves we talk openly about things. 14. When I see that something is bothering her I ask her about it. 15. She allows me as much freedom as I want. 16. She and I have fun together at home. 17. She always wants to know who I spend time with when I go out. 18. She almost always talks to me in a warm and friendly tone. 19. I feel that she doesn’t understand me. 20. She makes mistakes and is willing to listen when I remark about it. 21. She always finds faults with me. 22. I have many chores and duties and I’m not allowed to do anything else until I finish them. 23. She tends to hug me occasionally. 24. She lets me spend my money as I please. 25. We don’t talk with each other much. 26. I feel anger towards her. 27. When we talk she considers my point of view. 28. She understands my troubles and worries. 29. We get along really well between ourselves. 30. She lets me do all the things that others of my age do. 31. She doesn’t often think about me. 32. She punishes me when I don’t do as I’m told. 33. When I’m with her I easily get annoyed and angry. 34. She tries to make me happy when I’m sad. 35. I tend to share things that happen to me with her. 36. She tries to treat me as an equal. 37. She lets me do anything I want. 38. I cannot trust her. 39. She says that I constitute one big problem. 40. She believes that I must be punished in some way for all my misbehavior. 41. She tells me what she really feels, and shares her problems with me. 42. I enjoy talking to her. 43. She tends to show her love for me. 44. She likes it when I decide to do things my way. 45. I have no patience with her. 46. She likes to discuss various issues with me. 47. She is very strict with me. 48. I often criticize her. 49. She likes to spoil me. 50. We appear to disturb each other. 51. I feel better after I have discussed my problems with her. 52. Recently I feel that she’s more a friend than a parent. 53. I’m glad to meet her when I come back home. 54. She becomes angry over little things that I do. 55. It is easy to talk to her. 56. She doesn’t seem like someone who likes to do things with me. 57. She forgives me and doesn’t make a big issue out of every little thing. 58. She complains that I get on her nerves. 59. She has more rules and laws than I can remember, and so she often punishes me. 60. She is often glad to get away from me for a while. 61. She often talks about the good things I do. 62. We fight and argue a lot. 63. I feel close to her.
Coding RFMQ into the different scales: (none of the items need to be reversed)
N=205 Israeli adolescents Test-retest reliability (n=30) 2 weeks apart, ranged from .77 for Autonomy with mother through .96 for Communication with father. Mean test-retest reliability was .85.
Taken from Mayseless, O., Wiseman, H., & Hai, I. (1998). Adolescents’ relationships with father, mother and same gender friend. Journal of Adolescent Research, 13, 101-123.
Additional information can be found in Mayseless, O., & Hai, I. (1998) Leaving-home transition in Israel: Changes in parents-adolescents relationships and adaptation to military service. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 22, 589-609.
Table 1 Information Regarding the "Relationship with Father/Mother" Questionnaire. ________________________________________________________________________________ Scale Number Item Example SD Cronbach’s of Items Alpha ________________________________________________________________________________ Mother Closeness 10 She tends to hug me sometimes 3.85 0.72 0.90
Communication 10 She always listens to my ideas and opinions 3.63 0.72 0.89
Mutuality 7 She tries to treat me as an equal 3.51 0.69 0.84
Open 10 When I'm with her I get angry easily 2.25 0.72 0.86 Confrontation
Rejection and 10 She does not often think about me 2.01 0.56 0.84 Coolness
Autonomy 8 She allows me as much freedom as I want 3.48 0.56 0.82
Supervision/Control 8 She always wants to know who I was with 2.33 0.62 0.80
Father Closeness 10 He tends to show his love for me 3.46 0.75 0.92
Communication 10 He likes to discuss various issues with me 3.25 0.69 0.92
Mutuality 7 Recently I feel that he is more a friend than 3.20 0.63 0.82 a parent
Open 10 He becomes angry over little things that I do 2.19 0.63 0.86 Confrontation
Rejection and 10 He does not know what I need or what I want 2.13 0.54 0.91 Coolness
Autonomy 8 He lets me do all the 3.54 0.69 0.83 things that others of my age do.
Supervision/Control 8 He is very strict with me 2.27 0.58 0.77 ________________________________________________________________________________ Note: n=205 Different examples are given for mother's and father's versions although the versions include identical items.
Table 2 Intercorrelations among the Relationships-with-Parents Scales.
________________________________________________________________ Mother/ Father ________________________________________________________________
Warmth Mutuality Autonomy Confrontation
Warmth .58 .73 .20 -.58
Mutuality .83 .50 .38 -.38
Autonomy .52 .59 .58 -.19
Confrontation -.69 -.46 -.45 .51
___________________________________________________________________________________
Note: n=205. The lower triangle represents intercorrelations of mother’s scales and the upper triangle intercorrelations of father’s scales. The underlined diagonal represents correlations between the corresponding scales of relationships with mother and father.
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